I have to start out this post by saying : I am sure I am going to get ALOT of heat about this post. I have to second say "I dont really care". There is something that needs to be said and Im just going to be blunt about it because Im not here to candy coat things. We need to talk about thee biggest lie in raising children. Lastly before I begin let me say I am by no means saying if you parent differently it is wrong, this is my own personal opinion but I need to voice some things.
When you first bring that adorable bundle of cuteness home everyone tells you to hold onto them as long as you can. By the second or third month it changes to " oh jeesh if you hold your baby too long or run in everytime they cry you'll never get any sleep or they will expect you to run every time they wake up". Well im here to be in your face and say I personally believe this is a freaking crock of crap!
Our baby has slept successfully through the night since he was 4 weeks old! NO LIE! I really truly believe it is because he is secure enouph to know that if something is wrong someone is there, if he wakes up in a dark room : someone is there.
Self soothing is thee largest lie I have yet to be told as a new mom and Im here to tell you to not mention it to me anymore. I am so tired of being told if I hold my baby too much or run to him the second he wakes up hes going to be spoiled. He is a baby for crying out loud!!! I really truly have did my research and all ive found is there is no possible way to "spoil" a baby!
We are not expected to sleep alone as adults so why should a baby be put in a dark room all alone in a new world and expected to just " cope" with waking up. NO. Im sorry , this doesnt teach your kid to self soothe. It teaches your kid that if they cry no one is going to come. It also raises a kid to not have empathy and im raising someones daddy and husband and i want him to know how to love with no restrictions.
There was an article that circled around facebook a while back involving a preacher going to an orphanage in some foreign country and commented on how none of the babies in the nursery cried. He asked the nun how she got them to sleep through the night. She replied" after a couple weeks of crying at night , they finally realized no one was coming for them". I know several people this broke their heart to read, so why on earth would you hypocrits expect me to not run to my own baby when he cries in the middle of the night or day or whenever he needs his mama.
If you were scared or sick or having a bad day how would YOU feel if you called and no one cared? No one answered their phone, no one came running to see if you were okay, no one not one single person in the world cared. You just had to lay there and cry? Pretty lonley feeling right? And you expect a tiny person who hasnt even developed the part of the brain to understand emotions yet just lay there crying? Not on my watch.
Here is a fun fact for you: In infants and children the neocortex part of the brain is EXTREMLY underdeveloped which literally makes it impossible to rationalize and deal with emotions and unmet needs.  This is why your a parent, your only job is to be there for yout baby when they need you. They cant communicate yet so this is where you need to learn their wants and needs.
Here is another fun fact: a study in 2012 done on healthy and depressed pre school children found that the more nuturing the mothers were towards their babies the greater their hippocampal volume became !  Www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov <----
In easy words the more loving a mama is towards her munchkins the more beneficial it is towards their tiny growing little noggins. Not tending towards your childrens needs trains children to believe that their needs dont matter. I want my son to know that the world does NOT  revolve around him, but he should know without a doubt mine does and i will always be there for him!  Plus if were teaching our children were incapable of responding to their communication how can we possibly expect to raise emotionally and mentally mature adults capable of managing on their own? How we treat our munchkins lays the foundation of how they will feel about theirselves. I dont want mine growing up thinking everytime he tried to communicate nobody cared enouoh to come. The world is a harsh enough place full of people that dont care, home should be full of love and the knowing that someone in this world will always care.
Look all i know is i have his whole life to teach him independence and i know the day will come where he wont "need" me anymore and just need to spread his wings and fly to find his place in the world. Im both terrified and excited for that day. The day will come when he doesnt want hugs and kisses in public, or wants dropped off around the corner at school and i am sure it will break my heart. Those are the days to let indepence be learned. That day is not today. Today i will run when he cries, snuggle him a little tighter and enjoy his tiny toes kicking me in the face at night when he wont go back to sleep in his crib.
Ill take every drooly kiss, snotty nose snuggle, and  high pitched giggle...because these days dont last forever....